Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Obligated to Gift?
Think about how gifts are exchanged in our culture. Sometimes gifts are a surprise given on a random day without provocation. More often gifts are expected. I give you a present for Christmas and you feel obligated to reciprocate. You absolutely do not give me the same gift back because I might get offended. So instead you try to find something I’ll like. You might even hope that the gifts we exchange are similar in monetary value. There is an exchange of goods going on. The big difference between this and the exchange of goods that occurs when you buy something at the store is that there is no requirement to repay. So what do you think? Is there a social obligation for the receiver to return the favor? Is that the way it is supposed to be, or have we gone wrong somewhere?
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We've gone wrong somewhere, and that's why I didn't give you a birthday present over the weekend (happy birthday by the way, I don't think I even bothered to call, I'm a bad sister). I say you and I start a change. Let's stop gifting altogether, in th name of society!
ReplyDeleteI think gift-giving and receiving is a happier experience when no one feels obligated. Remember the stress level of mom's at Christmas time? Or sometimes even birthdays?
ReplyDeleteSome people are better at this than others though and seem to just enjoy finding gifts even when others might feel stressed and obligated.
Oooooo I just remembered that one Christmas episode of the office when Michael buys the ipod and gets mad a Phyllis for giving him a homemade gift--should watch that again as a reference?
ReplyDeleteI think gift giving is an important part of any culture. Gifts can show honor, respect and love. They can be used to display power, manipulate, and coerce. They can be incredibly sincere or completely hypocritical.
ReplyDeleteI also can't think of the concept of gift giving without remembering the woman who anointed Jesus Christ's head with expensive oil. His disciples were offended noting that the ointment could have been sold and the money given to the poor. Jesus reminded them of the significance of a sincere gift in his response. Yes, gift giving may not be logical, but I think it can be very meaningful.
ReplyDeleteGift-giving can be very stressful simply due to the feeling that you are obligated to return the favor. However, in the true spirit of the concept, that should never be the case. True gift-giving should never carry the burden of obligation. That noted, I have a difficult time not feeling obligated when a gift is given and have to remind myself not to feel that way.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of countless comedic episodes where women purchase any number of items as "gifts" without knowing when or who they will give them to. And when an event occurs, they sift through the detritus they have collected, select an item, and happily pass it on.
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